Before
by Frisbe Ninja
Summary: Ziva thinks about everything thats happened. The word before seems to keep coming up in almost every memory she has coming to NCIS before and after she was Mossad.


She was broke after returning to America… Washington D.C….. She changed before going to Somalia, before Salem, before Michael, before Jeanne. Before seemed to swirl in her mind. Before she use to be Mossad. Cold. Heartless. Uncaring. Never going to love someone kind of person.

Oh how wrong she was. Before Gibbs came back to her sorry ass from everyone she went to Tony's or Tony would go to hers. Damn that word again. Before. Before Jeanne happened, before Michael. Before the only time they could love each and not worry about others… _Paris… _She missed HIM. But her wouldn't get has close to her as it use to be because SHES the one who broke it off after Gibbs, Jeanne, Jenny, and Paris. She use Ray. He use E.J. But he seemed foolish about the relationship never caring who he slept and it _Hurt. _But then she remembers Before she broke it off. Everything seemed perfect. Less fighting, less annoying, less teasing. She always broke it off first and he would look at her trying to understand where he Fuck up again. Ray… When she seen the look in _HIS _eyes she… She felt like she was finally ending their game of grab ass or cat and mouse, but then it hurt even more when she was going to get married.

She wished. She always fucking wished she could go back to before. Not to far back but back enough to where she was Mossad again but just enough to where They were together. She remember when he popped the question "Would you say yes if I asked to marry you?" She said no. Oh how she remember that day. It hurt him. He looked away and said "Oh" only to find out later that week HE had brought a beautiful rings, planed the evening Only for her to say its over. It was even worse because it was on their 3 month anniversary. He smiled, nodded and asked one question that her heart couldn't handy. "Who is the other guy?" She explained saying it wasn't a guy she just didn't feel it anymore.

He closed the door then and said okay. Then she heard it. HIM crying. So she stayed. He heard him curse at himself for fucking up, he cursed himself for buy the ring 2 weeks early, he cursed himself for ever thinking they could work out. They never said "I love you" to each other. He said into the air unknown She was listening that He cursed himself for loving you, wanting a family with you, making reservation to your favorite restaurant to ask you about getting married.

Then your remember the Before. You start crying forgetting you are in the Bullpen. "Hey Zi. Whats Wrong?" He asked. You say something like stop getting in my business you don't belong there. You realize you hit a nerve. He relays with "I know." Then He excuse himself because the tears are almost out of his eyes.

You flash back to before. Smiles, kisses, hugs and Movie Nights. You frown. You don't remember the last movie Night you had with him. All you know is he does a different Thursday routine now and moved into a different place. Your heart squeezes.

You ask Him to meet up with you later at the coffee shop. He hesitates wondering what you want before saying yes.

You sit at the coffee shop with him. You haven't noticed until now he doesn't smile that much anymore.

You ask if he has anyone special in his life. He laughs at you and for some odd reason you still don't want to believe it what it is.

You sit there until he answers with a No. Your lips twitch up into a smile. He fires the question back at you… You reply with yes. He smiles. A different from all of the ones you've seen. Its brotherly and you wonder why.

Then it clicks. Now you know why he doesn't flirt with you, doesn't tease you and asked to be paired up with McGee more. Because Ray that god forbidden jack ass said that Him. She knew it was stupid. Doesn't fit the bill for him at ALL.

And you wonder why its always HIM to get hurt. You ask him a question one surely to leave him hurting but you MUST know. You ask about the ring. He says it's the one he gave Ray. Your shocked but somehow are ask you. He looks at you an says "Ray made you happy. Made you Smile. So at least I was hoping to you got that fair tale ending because you deserve it." He stops and takes a shakey breath. You now know something big is going to happen. "and I couldn't do any of those things b-but" a stutter.. now you know its bad, horrible even " he could a-and I always wanted y-you to be happy even if it hurt. I get why Im like a brother to you. Im always here to be your rock and best friend, b-but I don't see you as a sister. Stupid huh" He breaks it off then.

You grab his hand before he leaves. Then You kiss him. Smile into the kiss. Hug him. Anything to get him to respond. Only later when you are about to pull away he kissed you back finally with he own passion stronger then most. You cry then. He takes you back to his place. Finally were you tell him everything.

Then you tell him the words he has been dying to hear "I love you Tony" His smiles is brilliant.

He kisses you gently before pulling back whispering softy "I love you too Ziva" You smile because now you are sure neither of you are leaving.

And before doesn't matter as much but still is important. You wonder. Then tell him "Tony if you ever ask me to marry you I'll say yes" He kisses you once again and ask you. Your smile is bright and joyful. Something that has been missing is now replaced….

Suddenly the world is right and everyone is happy. Finally you are back to being Ziva David a perfect lover, best friend, and amazing girlfriend and finally he is back to being Tony Dinozzo another perfect lover, best friend and amazing boyfriend. You think how your name would sound with Tony's. _Ziva Dinozzo_. You like the sound of it, it just roll off your toughs. You now can get a good nights rest with your fiancée arms wrapped around you. The last though you had before falling asleep is of Tony, only to later be dreaming of children with green eyes and curly hair.


End file.
